By: Brian Bigelow
TEXT AS PUBLISHED:
The recent suicides of several gay teenagers brought nationwide attention to the issues of bullying, harassment and prejudice against members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community.
Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, 18, jumped from the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22 after his roommate broadcast over the Internet a video of Clementi engaged in homosexual activities.
Billy Lucas, a 15-year-old from Greenburg, Ind., hung himself on Sept. 9. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old from Houston, Texas, shot himself on Sept. 23. Seth Walsh, a 13-year-old from Tehachapi, Calif., died from injuries sustained during an attempted hanging on Sept. 27.
Each committed suicide in response to bullying and harassment from peers for being gay.
“Emotional and verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical [abuse],” said Berrylin Martin, a psychologist with APSU Student Counseling Services.
“In [the LGBT] population, the process of becoming comfortable with yourself is even more convoluted than it would be for a heterosexual individual,” Martin said. “If they don’t come out, their support system can’t really help them,” and if they do come out, they are often subject to bullying and degradation.
In response to this recent string of suicides, writer Dan Savage created and launched the Internet video campaign “It Gets Better” as an outreach to LGBT teens.
The videos, which can be found on YouTube, feature both well known celebrities and everyday people offering messages of hope and encouragement.
“I don’t think we’ve figured out a way to advocate for [the LGBT] population, and it leaves them at risk,” Martin said.
The social and emotional hardship resulting from prejudice and bullying affects LGBT teens and college students across the nation and is even felt among the APSU student body.
“When I discovered I was gay, my world crashed down around me. I was terrified of what this meant and kept it hidden for about three years. I had to come to terms with who I was,” said Chris Howard, a junior and president of the APSU Gay-Straight Alliance. “Also, I had to determine what it meant for me.”
“This is a long hard road that a young child, who is always being told these things are bad, must walk. I did so alone, but I try to help others because I know how horrifying it can be,” Howard said. “You feel completely cut off from your old life.”
“It’s awful that people feel, for one reason or another, that their life is worth nothing because they are LGBT,” said Lauren Pierce, a senior and former vice-president of the APSU Gay-Straight Alliance. “We have the same dreams as many people, and it will be a better day when someone who is LGBT will be treated as just another human being.”
One lesson Martin wishes to impart, and one that reflects her own personal philosophy, is that “every individual has inherent worth,” and treating people as such should be a constant goal.
The APSU Gay-Straight Alliance is, “a group of students attempting to show that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with homosexuals,” Howard said. “We attempt to show this by taking an active role in participation on campus. We probably have more straight members than gay members.”
The Gay-Straight Alliance will be having “Transgender Remembrance” on Nov. 19 to “bring attention to violent acts against transgender people,” Howard said.
Howard recalls that his relationship with his father became strained upon coming out.
“I did not change, but attitudes towards me changes,” Howard said. “My father tried different methods to ‘make me straight.’ This, a couple times, lead to physical attacks. He debated sending me to therapy and just kicking me out at 15.”
“I cried a lot. At one point I did put a gun to my head, but decided against it,” Howard said.
“My father decided that instead of having no family, he would go into denial,” Howard said. “For eight years, he kept saying, ‘It is just a phase you will grow out of.’ He has finally come to terms with the situation and we have a decent relationship now.”
About his decision to be openly gay, Howard said, “I would not allow other people to rule my life.”
“I feel like I need to be ‘out’ to be a role model or support for others who are scared. I also feel like I owe it to myself to be who I am regardless of what people think or how they perceive me,” said Julian Lewis, an APSU graduate student.
“I have lost a couple of friends because they found out that I was gay, friends I have known for years,” Lewis said.
“I know some students are afraid to come out on campus because they are afraid they will be harassed for it,” Pierce said.
“I haven’t heard of any bullying going on at APSU,” Pierce said. “I know that, two years ago, the [Gay-Straight Alliance] on campus was having problems with their posters being ripped down or being written on. I look at the fact that, since I’ve been here, APSU has brought Judy Shepard and Jason Stuart to speak on campus. That tells me that attitudes are changing.”
Judy Shepard spoke last February at APSU. She is the mother of Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student that was murdered for being gay in October 1998.
“In Smyrna, I was harassed until I became violent and was suspended from school,” Howard said. “In Clarksville, I have received varying responses. I do at times get nervous walking around campus by myself. There’s no open homophobia, but there’s a lot there. I am just very thankful that most people act like adults on campus.”
As advice to other LGBT students, Howard said, “Tell people until someone helps. Learn arts of self-defense. If you are being attacked, you have the right to defend yourself. You have the right to go to school and not be harassed. You must keep yourself safe above everything else.”
“Find a support system of some kind, whether it would be a friend, an organization, a school administrator, etc. This is not something that anyone should have to go through alone,” Lewis said. “There is always someone out there. No matter how hopeless times might seem, there is someone there for you, and you should never be afraid to be who you are, no matter how the world feels.”
“The reality is that we’re here to help,” Martin said about the APSU Student Counseling Services. “We want to advocate for students and help them be successful here.”
APSU Counseling Services is located in the Ellington building room 202.
“There’s never another time in life when therapy is free,” Martin said.
Martin says she wishes to “empower [students] to use their voices,” when dealing with bullying or prejudice, or feelings of hopelessness or depression, and to advocate for them when people try to take their voices from them.
“Learning to be healthfully interdependent is a skill that all people, in my opinion, should learn, because we need each other,” Martin said. “As much as I want to support and advocate for any marginalized student, I also want to be a part of putting an end to the problem.”
According to Martin, the problem of bullying and prejudice cannot be fixed solely by focusing on the actions and attitudes of victims or potential victims. Those who would perpetrate acts of hate or violence must be made to reflect upon and change their deeds and attitudes in order to stem the tide of injustices.
“The students that would typically not say anything need to speak out against perpetrators,” Martin said.
It is the people between the victims and perpetrators that may have the greatest power to affect change.
But where do bullies come from?
Martin offered the theory that, “something happens to [an individual] where their power is taken away [and], in an attempt to regain control, they try to take the power away from someone weaker.”
According to a 2009 survey of 7,261 students, ages 13 to 21, by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), “nearly 9 out of 10 [LGBT] students experienced harassment at school in the past year and nearly two-thirds felt unsafe because of their sexual orientation.”
The GLSEN is a national non-profit organization dedicated to ensuring safety in educational environments for LGBT students.
Being “out” had both positive and negative consequences, according to the GLSEN survey. Students that were open about their sexual orientation reported higher levels of victimization, and yet, also reported greater emotional well-being than their closeted peers.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN: The All State